Poor Man Survival
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Seven don'ts for a better life
Stoicism has an interesting — and counterintuitive, in many cases
— view on how to deal with this modern world that can assault our minds on multiple
fronts simultaneously.
Trying to stay on top of everything, feeling the need to react, to
control, to "stay in touch" and to do it all in real-time is a recipe
for disaster, according to the stoic mindset.
The remedy, then, according to The Daily Stoic, is to adopt a few
"Stoic Don'ts" for a better life. What are these lifesaving
"don'ts"? Let's get right to them:
- Don't
fear change —
A study had
a group of people view a painting that they were told was done in 1905.
The next group viewed the same painting but this group was told that the
painting was done in 2005. The 1905 group rated the painting much more
aesthetically pleasing than the other group.
Why? Because we like that which has been around for a while. We
like predictability. Our brains look for patterns and reliable
interpretations... even predictable negative outcomes are preferable to our
brains over uncertainty.
Neuroscience research has revealed that uncertainty registers in
our brain much like an error does, and we only feel comfortable when that error
is corrected. Some people also fear a loss of control that comes with changes.
Simply realizing these fears exist is a good step toward overcoming a
resistance to change.
You've heard the sayings "control is an illusion," and
"and the only thing that's certain is change"? These exist for a
reason. We need to overcome the inclination to read changes as an error in the
program of our lives. Speaker and author Scott Mautz says that to overcome your
fear of change, search for the certainties in your life: "Find your anchor
and recall what the pending change won't change about your world that's
important to you."
- Don't
sweat the small stuff —
Marcus Aurelius, in his Meditations (written
in Written 167 A.C.E. — we like what's been around for a while!), wrote:
"It is essential for you to remember that the attention you give to
any action should be in due proportion to its worth, for then you won't
tire and give up, if you aren't busying yourself with lesser things beyond
what should be allowed."
Small stuff, should you fall into the trap of elevating its
importance, will grow into larger "stuff." Recall the old Cherokee
story that there is a war going on between the "two wolves" inside of
us. One is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt,
resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is
joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy,
generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The one that wins is the one you
feed.
- Don't
value others' opinions above your own — We are quick to blame
ourselves... but we should trust our own intuition more than we do. You
should trust who you are and why you're doing the things that you're
doing, even when we feel like the outcome is uncertain (but you no longer
fear uncertainty, right?). Many of the most successful people failed many times before
they ultimately were justified in sticking to what they believed in.
Author and consultant Matthew Biggins reminds
us:
"Living the life someone else expects may work in the short term, but will
likely lead to pain in the long term. This is true for every relationship. It
isn't fair. But we are likely to blame others for not doing what makes us
happy. We don't want to take responsibility, so we point fingers. No one else
made us do anything. Even so, we resent others when we choose not to follow a
dream or passion. This is just easier than looking in the mirror and being
accountable."
If you feel the absolute need to trust someone's opinion, value
those whose opinions you value. Speaker and Life Coach TJ Guttormsen writes that these people
are more likely to mirror the respect you have for them, and "should give
opinions that are constructive and compatible with who you are as a person,
rather than plainly critical and disconnected."
- Don't
seek revenge —
A stoic person does not need to "get even." Seneca said,
"You never return a kick to a mule or a bite to a dog." The best
revenge is, in fact, to not be
like the people who wrong you and attack you.
One useful tenant to adopt comes from the book The Four Agreements, a compendium of the
wisdom of the Toltec people. Author Don
Miguel Ruiz explains that one of the agreements is "Don't take anything
personally." Everyone lives in their own world, and whatever other people
do to you is a result of their world and their situation and not you or
yours... therefore, we should never take even the gravest insult or injury
personally because it's not about us. It's a "them" problem.
- Don't
start from behind —
This is a symptom of the "connected" world... in that while
we're sleeping we feel like we might have missed something, or that we
need to be instantly up to date on everything that's going on or we are
already behind for the day. Stop. The stoic mindset is not to make
yourself an item on someone else's to-do list. You determine what you
think, what you do, who you are, what is important to you, and what you
will accomplish for the day.
- Don't
be so reachable —
This recommendation flows from the previous "don't." Since the
stream of information we are subject to on a daily basis is
ever-increasing, and we want to be involved and do not want to miss anything,
it can feel like the world is demanding our time and we must be available.
That is a demand that superimposes unneeded stress on our lives. Set
boundaries on when you will look at e-mails (and remember, an e-mail from
someone is not an obligation upon you to answer ASAP), and when you'll
take phone calls or texts.
Experteer magazine reports that it takes about 18 minutes for our
brains to focus on a task and concentrate on complex business matters. Studies
in Germany reveal people reach for their mobile phones every 15 minutes. How
can you get anything done, much less de-stress, if you need 18 minutes to truly
submerge yourself in a topic, but are being constantly interrupted? The answer
is, you can't.
- Don't
have an opinion —
Practice the art of not reacting to anything and everything that is
brought to your attention. You don't have to let everything in. The
Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh makes a direct connection
between breezy clouds and our emotional involvement in things when he
says, "Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky." The sky
is not disturbed by the clouds passing. None of them are worth clinging
to.
You can be an observer and not a participant. You are not
apathetic or burying your head in the sand. And, it is evident that the
requirement to have an opinion is detrimental and indicative of an attempt to
control you. As Phillip Ellis wrote in Repeller, "...it is
becoming increasingly evident that clickbait news and headlines designed to
provoke outrage are conditioning us to enact a series of predetermined
reactions. Reactions which function more as markers of our political
inclinations ... than genuine upset."
Not everything is asking that it be judged by us.
Yours for the truth,
Bob Livingston
Editor, The Bob Livingston Letter®
Editor's
Note: Researchers studied the brain of a Buddhist monk who
practiced meditation every day for most of his life... they said it looked like
someone's nearly a decade younger... here's
the whole story.
SIDEBAR
A Simple Trick for Reducing Food Waste
Whenever
I buy perishables that I am not going to use that day, I write the Sell by or
Freeze date on my kitchen calendar. This has led to a lot less wasted food.
Brian
Here
are some more
simple steps to eliminating food waste and higher food bills.
8 Easy - but Often Forgotten - Ways to Save on Groceries
As grocery prices soar, don't forget
about these simple ways to cut your costs.
Inexpensive Tools for Beginner Gardeners
How To Set Up An Affordable Hay Bale Garden
Hay bale gardening can provide the same labor-saving benefits as
raised bed gardening, but with a cheaper price tag. We explore how to set up
and care for a hay bale garden.
Create a Dream Garden on $100 Per Year
Do you imagine the beautiful flower garden or sustainable food
garden you’d have if only you had the money to create one? Well, you can create
your dream garden on $100 a year with these 15 tips*
* How to Grow
Anything: Your Best Garden & Landscape DVD-Great Courses+Bonus
Declare
your food independence!
Our
food supply chain has repeatedly proven how fragile it is.
Find freedom from the unstable food supply!
https://www.ebay.com/itm/255995911268
10 Garden Watering Mistakes You're Probably Making
You know your plants need water – all living things do – but how
do you know when to water and how much to give them?
Although these seem like straightforward questions, watering a
garden involves some nuances you might not expect. In fact, watering issues top
the various lists of common mistakes all gardeners make.
To help you keep your plants healthy, we’ve put together a list
of the top garden watering mistakes and how to avoid them...
10 Garden Watering Mistakes You're Probably Making
You may also like...
How to Make Homemade Fertilizers
There's always
marked-down produce at my local grocery store. You really can save a lot of
money if you're willing to be a little creative!
Try
this 4-step
plan to put a stop to fresh produce waste.
Going Beyond Cheap Recipes
to Reduce Grocery Bills
Cheap recipes aren’t the only way to reduce a grocery bill.
While more affordable recipes can help keep costs in check, we explore other
money-saving options that could save you more.
Emergency Preparedness on a Budget
According to FEMA, only about 10% of Americans
are truly ready for a major emergency. Though more than half of all Americans
have made some kind of plans for a disaster, most have stopped short of
stocking up on things they may need in a crisis
https://www.thedollarstretcher.com/frugal-living/basic-emergency-preparedness-on-a-budget/
Why do you need an
emergency radio?
·
. Just
60 seconds of hand cranking provides more than 45 minutes of radio
Radios: Having a couple small, portable radios
on hand is going to be a must. If there’s a disaster, you’ll
need to listen to the radio to get news about what is happening around you….grab
a TacRight Emergency Radio:
https://www.ebay.com/itm/185665101473
4Patriots Patriot Power Cell Solar
Phone Charger
USE THIS solar gadget to survive an emergency!
In 2022 alone there have been
over 70 attacks on the power grid with reports of six in Florida, five in
Oregon and Washington.
And according to national
security experts, this trend is only going to continue.
As America's power grid comes
under increasing attack and/or disruption…
THIS is your lifeline
in a crisis.
It's peace of mind that you can...
·
Call
family and friends in an emergency
·
Signal
for help from first responders
·
Stay
connected to critical weather updates
·
https://www.bonanza.com/listings/4Patriots-Patriot-Power-Cell-Solar-Phone-Charger/1419398891
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government, individual freedom!
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5 comments:
As always-GOOD stuff!
Great tips & gardening resources. We'll be adding a garden this year to combat inflation & have already started buying seed!
I'm frugal by nature & training-love this!
Cool information-looking forward to homegrown!
The Poor Man is among the most interesting & useful posts that I read....
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