PM's Self Reliance Tools: Becoming a Better Person in a Disjointed World

Poor Man Survival

Self Reliance tools for independent minded people…

www.poormansurvivor.net

ISSN 2161-5543

A Digest of Urban Survival Resources

"The most common way people give up their power
is by thinking they don't have any."
-- Alice Walker

Becoming a Better Person

We live in politically and culturally divisive times when it seems fewer cultures assimilate or even fewer neighbors get to know each other. I sure didn’t grow up that way. My mother worked in an ER at an inner city hospital and brought home interns who were from many different nations and it was exciting to learn about their different cultures.

As a kid our parents encouraged us to attend the houses of worship of our friends which included Jews, Catholics, Lutherans and Buddhists and as I learned later in life, our ancestry included many of these religions in our heritage before they escaped Nazi Germany. Like many of our Founding Fathers, one could say I am a Deist [your lesson for the day is you'll have to look that up].

As you look in the mirror each day you have one question to ask yourself, “how can I make myself and the world a better a place today?”

Below, I've listed 12 ways you can become more charismatic and get more out of your relationships…perhaps better business, family or even dating. I was brought up with the cardinal rule of always seek out ways in which you can do something for others [essentially, the Golden Rule, something which seems to have been lost among many citizens].

These are "rules" I try to follow in dealing with people. (Some of them are based on principles identified by Robert Cialdini in his book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion.)

1. People tend to do business with people they like. So, behave in a way that makes you likable. Be polite and patient. Avoid being crude, rude, gruff, or impatient.

2. People are attracted to people who keep their word. That means when you make a promise, do exactly what you promised. Do it by the deadline you promised – or sooner.

3. People trust people who have their best interests at heart. They will think you have their best interests at heart when you give them advice that benefits them as much as, or more than, it benefits you.

4. People want to do business with people who are experts in their fields. So, become an expert in your field through practice, research, training, education, and study. As you acquire that expertise, share it. Give speeches, and write articles and books. Be generous with your knowledge. Know that in doing so, you are demonstrating your expertise.

5. People feel comfortable giving money to people who are authentic and honest. (That means you must be honest, frank, ethical, and aboveboard.) Believe that telling the truth is more powerful than lying, even when the lies are mendacities by omission.

6. People are attracted to people who are attractive. You don't have to get plastic surgery, but you can eat right, exercise, dress well, and be well-groomed. And pay attention to your personal hygiene.

7. People feel better with people who seem to be "real." The best way to do that is to admit your shortcomings when they are evident. When the conversation turns to a subject about which you know next to nothing, admit it.

8. People respond to people who listen and pay attention to what they are saying. Remember the old cliché: You have two ears and one mouth because you should listen twice as much as you talk.

9. People feel comfortable with people who are like them. The trick here is to identify what you have in common with the other person. It could be golf, kids, pets, or anything else. Then use that to cement a bond between you.

10. People are attracted to people who are humble. So don't brag about your successes. You can mention them, but don't brag. If someone brings them up, downplay them. Switch the topic as soon as possible to the other person.

11. People tend to value people who are in demand. That's why you should never tell a prospective customer that things are slow and you really need his business. Think about doctors. How would you feel if you walked into a doctor's office and you were the only patient? Wouldn't you wonder how good he was? As much as you hate it when you have to sit there and wait, don't you feel more assured when a doctor's waiting room is packed? Of course you do.

12. People want to be surrounded by helpful people – people who make their lives easier and save them time. So make it a personal policy to attend to the needs of others – even when your purpose is to help yourself.

Which of these people-pleasing skills do you have already?

Congratulate yourself for acquiring them, and practice them more.

DEBT: John Oliver takes on predatory debt collectors

The British comedian turned a lecture about predatory debt collectors into a riveting HBO show, erasing nearly $15 million in medical debt belonging to about 9,000 people, pressing a giant red button to expunge the debt, prompting a shower of dollar bills in order to illustrate how easy it is for companies to buy debt and try to collect from consumers, whether legal or not.

Debt collectors are notorious for intimidating consumers and being less than honest, so if one calls, don’t even discuss the debt without getting a ‘validation notice’ that it is legitimate. Just pledging to repay can reset the statute of limitations, meaning you can be sued. When consumers ignore these lawsuits, which happens often, they can have their wages garnished. Know your rights. Debt collectors aren’t allowed to call during certain hours, use foul language, or make threats or pretend to be a law enforcement official. If you’re harassed, contact your State Attorney General or the Federal Trade Commission and report them.

More Resources…Worth a Share!

6 Ways Social Media Can Land You a New Job

Social media has provided us with new and fun ways to connect with people. See how you can leverage social media to land your next job.

50 Ways to Make a Fast $50 (Money Talks News): "Facing a cash-flow problem and need to make a quick buck? Here are 50 ways to earn extra money."

The 37 Best Hobbies That Make Money (Dope Dollar): "If you are pretty good at a hobby, you can probably make money off it. You’re about to get a lot of ideas on how to do just that, so keep reading."

Why No One Knows How to Write a Check Anymore (US News): "Check writing has become a lost art. There used to be something official about writing a personal check that made even the most minor transactions feel more important when you had to physically write out the recipient's name, dollar amount and sign your name in the bottom right corner."

Making The Case For Motorcycle Commuting (Forbes): "I recently compiled a list of the Best Cars for Commuters. Even as I was working on that list, I realized that it held a fatal flaw. Many times, the best car for a commuter is no car at all."

Yours for another revolution,

Bruce ‘the Poor Man’

Additional Resources

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